Zoomars
Radio Script
Concept: Joe is a straight-voiced cow, not loud, sort of quiet. He introduces us to his “office” and his “colleagues”. He doesn’t really show much emotion until he is talking about his “favorite people”. I think of someone like Nick Offerman to voice Joe.
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This was the first pieces I created that was worthy of being added to my portfolio and I still consider it to be some of my best work because I had so much fun writing and producing it.
"JOE" :60
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COWS MOOING, SHUFFLED IN WITH VARIOUS OTHER ANIMAL SOUNDS
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Joe:
‘Sup. I’m Joe. And this? This is my office. By the way, I’m a cow, in case you hadn’t figured it out. Want to meet my colleagues? (SFX: NEIGHS OF HORSES AND BAAAS OF SHEEP) These are my coworkers. This is Glen. (SFX: SINGLE NEIGH.) This is Rob. (SFX: SINGLE BAA) And this is Sam. (SFX: HUMAN SAYING “HEY!”) She’s cool. She cleans our barns. What do I do, you ask? (A LITTLE AGGRESSIVELY) I eat and sleep, isn’t that enough? (RELAXES) Okay, okay. I do other things too. Hmm… how do I explain… [fade in] (SFX: CHILDREN LAUGHING AND GIGGLING) (JOE, NONCHALANTLY) Well, you know, I entertain humans. Not those big ones. The tiny ones who are always filled with happiness and are always excited to see me. (A CRACK OF ADORATION SEEPS THROUGH) When they come to my barn, I eat the tasty veggies they bring and let them pet me. Don’t tell my boss but if I wasn’t getting paid in grass, I’d still be here every day. (CLEARS THROAT, EMBARRASSED AT GETTING EMOTIONAL)
Voiceover:
Come to Zoomars at San Juan Capistrano. Indulge in some innocent, old-fashioned fun and make Joe’s day.